Farewell

This morning I received one of the most disturbing messages that has ever graced my inbox

Good Morning,

I would like to let you know that Dr. Thayer has accepted a position with the Swedish Institute of International Affairs and will resign his position with Missouri State University at the end of the Spring 2009 semester. He has been a tremendous asset to our department and will be greatly missed.

I know that you will join me in wishing him well in this new endeavor.

Dr. Bradley Thayer, perhaps one of the programs greatest professors, is leaving us for the Swedes.
Honestly. Sweden. A country he has probably made fun of countless times in countless seminars throughout his years at DSS.

After hearing the news, I went through a wide range of emotions. First I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. (if you caught that reference, hats off to you)

Well, I decided to take a look at what Sweden has to offer. Thanks to a top 10 list provided by the Embassy of Sweden, my curiosity has been sated. Here are some highlights.

• Swedish Inventions include:
  – The perfected the design of the zipper (Gideon Sundbäck).
  

Oh awesome Dr. Thayer, you are leaving us for the land of the zippers? Ah not just the land of the zippers, but the land of perfected zippers. America only gave you the personal computer, the atomic bomb (your favorite), the bikini, the motorcycle, the cure for polio, toilet paper, the internet, peanut butter and fake bosoms. You are forsaking Old Glory to live under a Scandinavian cross highlighted in 80's neon colors? Terrible.

• Mysterious Moose Tracks.
  A popular souvenir is the road sign for moose-crossing. Every year a huge number of these signs are stolen from Swedish roads.

In American we don't admire Moose, or their tracks. We hunt them and we eat them, and discard their worthless hoofs. Moose track ice cream is acceptable, which we also invented.

• MMmmm! Yummy!
  The favorite food in Sweden is usually meatballs with potatoes and lingonberry sauce. Swedish pancakes are also a favorite.

Gross. Enjoy your potatoes and lingonberry sauce, Doctor. I'll think of you next time i bite into a big juicy hamburger.

Oh and good luck acquiring a firearm in Sweden.

Look what you made me do. I'm destined to despise Sweden forever.

Are you happy?

Phew. Now that all of that is out. I'd like to take a moment and pay tribute to a man that has given so much to the program (and stolen a piece of every one of his students) by listing some of his best quotes.

-Yes... Perhaps we should do something about China
-All of you are too WEAK to suggest preemptive nuclear strikes
-Optimism is for cowards
-We're gonna put the Dalai Lama in a cannon and shoot him in to China
-As long as there is a Russia we will fight against them

If you have any other quotes, feel free to contribute!

You will be missed Dr. Thayer. Good luck and god speed.